My mentor, a divorcee, and I were having our usual check in, and she mentioned to me, “what if we created a Dating Manifesto for ourselves?”
Here it is:
We will not date anyone who does not want to be married.
We will not date anyone who does not believe in the Lord.
We will not date anyone who is not an active member of a local church.
We will not date anyone who is not a tithing member of a local church.
I realize this eliminates a massive chunk of the otherwise eligible bachelors. But because I am committed to all four items on the list, and making excuse for them in the past and only left me disappointed and heart broken, it only makes sense that I be yoked with someone who is as well. That’s also Bible, but sometimes you need experience in order for it to really make sense. And let’s just say, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with this. 🙂
The concept of the yoke essentially means, the two of you are yoked together like oxen and can only move in one direction. If you oxen are yoked together but going in different directions, they go nowhere and end up very frustrated with one another. That is what it’s like to be in relationship with someone that is not equally yoked with you.
One other realization that came out of this conversation was this: If we start out believing that there are no good Christian men, then we will behave as such. Behaving like there are no good Christian men leaves us behaving in a way that attracts the broken men we have and lands us in relationship with men who were never our match, doing things that draw us further away from being the woman we are meant to be for our future husband.
So rather than settle because it’s what I see, I am changing what I see. There is enough good content out there showcasing powerful and honorable men following God. It may not be as easy to find as the fluff, but like anything worth having its worth finding. It’s rare, but so are we, so why not do the rare thing, and shift your focus?
So this is mine and my mentor’s commitment. Will you join us?